


The Resolution

by FivePips



Series: 12+ Fics of Christmas 2018 [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Long time friendships, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, New Year's Resolutions, New Years, Sirius can't keep his resolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 16:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips
Summary: Sirius' resolution for the New Year is to stop fancying his best mate. They had been friends for 20 years and for the last year, Sirius has been pining away for Remus. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he decides to make a resolution to stop having romantic feelings for Remus. Remus doesn't make things very easy."New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it."-- Charlie Brooker





	The Resolution

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Person A makes a New Year’s Resolution–but Person B makes it difficult for them to keep it.
> 
> I decided to post this a day early because I'm sick of looking at it in Scrivener. THIS IS THE LAST FIC OF MY 12+ Fics of Christmas! This was fun and maybe I'll do it again next year. I still have about 6 prompts I saved/liked so we'll see. I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and 2019 brings you some great adventures.

**December 31st**

_I will stop fancying Remus. I will stop fancying Remus. I will stop liking my best bloody mate (just below Prongs not that matters but it does because James will kill me). I will stop loving Remus J. Lupin to bits and his stupid dimples and his curly hair. I will stop…_

Sirius repeated his resolution over and over in his brain as the clock ticked closer to midnight. He couldn’t go another year with pining away for his best mate. It wasn’t sensible or appropriate. It was actually mad the more that he thought about it. He had known Remus since they were 10. 10! That was now 20 years on in their friendship. He was 30 and Remus had a child but was not with the mum, so it wasn’t that type of inappropriate. They were friends so it still wasn’t sensible when he realized his feelings last Christmas after they had a cuddle on the sofa following a kiss under the mistletoe earlier that day.

Over the last year, Sirius couldn’t stop looking at the other man in a new light than he had before. He wondered how long he actually loved him like this. It wouldn’t surprise Sirius if he was repressing his feelings, in all honesty. Falling in love was scary and dangerous, especially when he was putting so many other friendships at risks. So, he decided on his resolution just after Christmas and was going to stick with it. Not that he ever stuck to one before in his entire life.

“10…9…8…”

_I will not fancy Moony any longer. I will not fantasize about him in bed any longer._

“Hey, Pads,” Remus said next to him.

Shite, it was far too close to midnight for him to be near Remus. Sirius was safe from possible midnight kisses only seconds ago when Remus was getting his ear talked off by Molly. He purposely went to the other side of the crowded room to get away from him.

“7…6…5…”

“Hi Moony,” Sirius looked to his left to find that there was no one close to him not in a couple. He couldn’t even go in for a kiss with someone else. He was screwed. So, so, so screwed.

“4…3…2…1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

_I will not fancy Remus in this next year._

“Happy New Year, Padfoot,” Remus smiled then leaned in for a kiss.

Sirius nearly died inside when their lips met. He was sure he was going to have a heart attack when Remus dipped him a little with an arm around his waist. He could hardly help himself when he wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulders. Then he wanted to sigh in frustration when Remus pulled away.

“Happy New Year, Moony.”

_Okay, from this moment on I will not fancy Remus John Lupin in the coming year._

*******

**January 1st**

_I will not think about Remus’ lips and what his stubble felt like against my cheek when he kissed me._

“I don’t know how you’re not hungover,” James complained as they sat down to their annual New Year’s Day brunch at Lily and James’ place in Kensington. It had been a tradition since they were at uni to all get together after a party the night before to eat away their hangover.

“I’m just a good drinker,” Remus suggested before chomping on a piece of bacon.

“You’re a shite drinker, I think, Prongs. You mix.” Sirius said to James, trying to ignore the fact that his knee was against Remus’ knee. Why did Remus always have to sit next to him?

“At least I don’t miss my mouth,” James pointed to Sirius with a feigned look of disgust.

Remus chuckled and leaned forward, his hand rested on Sirius’ cheek. “You’re worse than my son. You’ve powdered sugar here.” His thumb brushed at the corner of his mouth and Sirius felt like his face was on fire. “There, all set but I can’t say the same for your shirt. You really need to think about not having powdered sugar on your french toast.”

_I will not think about Remus’ soft but yet strong hands on my skin._

*******

**January 2nd**

“Coffee,” Remus’ voice startled Sirius from writing an email. He looked up from his computer to see Remus smiling and a cup of coffee on his desk. “The first day back from a long break is the hardest. I thought you might need some extra energy.”

“You write novels from your bed.” Sirius complained. Remus was a well known author of a popular YA series. He had been off “real” work since Teddy was two. So, he’d been free to do as he pleased for three years now as long as he was meeting deadlines — which he always did. He deserved it, though.

“Yes, which is a very comfy place. You should try it sometime.” Remus winked.

“Ha, I’m sure it is.” Sirius attempted to be cool, reaching for his coffee cup.

_I will not think about Remus in his bed. With me. This bloody resolution is not fucking working._

*****  
**  
**January 4th**

“Go on, Teddy,” Remus said as the boy grinned, staring at the hot chocolate stand in front of the skating rink. Remus had invited Sirius to come out after work with him and his son to go ice skating. Remus always made fun of how good Sirius was at the activity and begged him to do a few moves for Teddy. Teddy of course cheered on in delight at the twist, turns, and jumps.

“He’s lucky he’s cute because he’s very demanding.” Sirius joked as they watched Teddy stand in line for hot chocolate. He liked acting like a big boy but kept checking to make sure that Sirius and Remus were standing guard close by. They always were.

“No, you’re just a pushover,” Remus shook his head. “Though, you’d be a brilliant dad if you ever wanted to try that out one day. Any kid to have you in their life is a lucky thing.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think anyone would be interested in that with me. I can barely date someone long enough to make it to an important anniversary.” Sirius bit his lip. He had thought about settling in before but could never find the right person. Sirius had never been able to visualize a life like that until he started to insert Remus and Teddy into it.

“I think you’re looking in all the wrong places for love, Padfoot.”

“I think that maybe I’m just meant to be alone.” Or just be hopelessly in love with his best mate and then end up alone because he didn’t feel the same way. “I mean, that’s fine because I have you all.”

“Maybe you’re just blind and not seeing what you need to see.” Remus suggested.

“I’m seeing everything fine, thank you very much.” Sirius huffed a breath.

“Hmm yeah, I’m sure you are. At least we’re always here. Teddy and I will always be here for you.” Remus put an arm around his shoulder.

“Thanks, Moony.”

Remus pressed a kiss to his temple and Sirius closed his eyes.

_I will not think about what life as a family with Remus and Teddy would be like._

*******

**January 5th**

“What is wrong with you?” Lily complained Saturday afternoon as James, Remus, Harry, and Teddy were playing some game that involved a lot of yelling it seemed. Sirius was helping her in the kitchen because he needed a break from Remus.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Sirius shrugged.

“You’ve been acting stranger than normal. I mean, you’re always a bit odd but it’s just been worse this last week or so. What is happening, love?”

“I’m just — I’m trying to get over Remus, okay?” Sirius said quietly, leaning on the counter. “I can’t take it much longer. My resolution was to stop feeling this way about him but he always does these things that make it worse. It’s only been a few days and every time I see him it’s just — it just gets worse.” Lily was the only person Sirius had told about his evolving feelings for Remus. He refused to tell anyone else because they would make a big deal about it. Lily was able to keep things quiet and this was the type of thing that he needed people to be quiet about.

“You’re trying to get over me?” Remus’ voice startled him so much that he actually jumped.

Sirius’ eyes were probably as wide as saucers. “I — I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Sirius, please,” Remus said, his hand closing around his bicep as Sirius tried to pass the other man in the doorway. Why didn’t James and Lily have another way out of the kitchen?

“I have to go. I’m sorry, Remus. I am. I’ll get over it. Just give me some time. I’ll get over it eventually. Don’t worry about it.” Sirius assured him.

“Sirius you’re—”

“I have to go,” Sirius got out of Remus’ light grip easily and went off down the hall. He said quick goodbyes to everyone, making an excuse that he suddenly didn’t feel well. They all looked confused at his sudden exit but James told him to feel better and call later if he didn’t.

Saying he was feeling ill wasn’t a complete lie. He felt sick to his stomach but it didn’t have anything to do with actually being ill.

_Well, now I can’t even see him anymore due to embarrassment. Maybe it will pass for good and things will go back to normal._

*******  
**January 6th**

Sirius was sitting on his sofa when there was a knock on his door. He looked down the hall at it but didn’t move. It stopped for a moment and there were a few pings on his phone but he didn’t look. He had refused to look at his phone since leaving Lily and James’ flat yesterday afternoon. Sirius knew that Remus was probably trying to get in touch with him, as well as Lily and maybe James depending if they told Prong about what was going on.

“Sirius, please, open the sodding door.” Remus’ voice called out. “I’m not going to go away until you either open the door or a neighbor calls the police because they’re annoyed with my knocking. I don’t fancy going to jail, so please…”

That wasn’t what he wanted to happen to Remus either over this. He knew that he should just talk to him and get the pain over with. Not that it was going to be easy. He didn’t want to be crushed and he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. But their friendship was probably ruined as it was.

So, Sirius forced himself off his sofa and went for the door. He opened it and Remus stepped him. For a moment they just stood there in the entryway staring at one another. Then Remus moved closer to him.

“I’m kissing you and if you’d like me not to do that please tell me right now.”

“What?” Sirius nearly yelped as Remus put a hand on the side of his neck and stepped even closer. Their noses bumped.

“I fancy you too, you daft git.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say so he closed the small gap between them and finally kissed Remus. The other man tasted like coffee and chocolate, exactly how Remus Lupin should taste.

“How long, Sirius?” Remus asked, pulling away from Sirius but not letting go of him.

“I don’t know. Since last year at least. I mean, I realized it then. It could have been longer but I’m an idiot. How about you?” Sirius laughed, feeling a little delirious.

“Well, over two years but there was some time at school that I was mad about you. I thought I was officially over back then but not even close, I guess.”

Sirius blushed furiously.

“I’ve been flirting with you so much this past year because I thought you felt this way but you never acted on it.”

“I was so scared! Your flirting made everything worse. I made a resolution so I would get over you.”

“Resolutions never work, Pads. They’re bullshite.” Remus’s lips found his again. He backed him against the wall behind them.

“Thank god for that,” Sirius mumbled against Remus’ lips.


End file.
